BlizzCon 2010 Song Contest: The Queen of Blades

Blizzard video games have long been known for two things: their virulently addictive qualities and their impassioned musical scores. So it's no surprise that this year's BlizzCon song contest produced some startlingly brilliant winners (except for the fact that the creators managed to pull themselves away from Azeroth or the Mar Sara Sector long enough to write and record their entries - that IS surprising).

Galt Aureus, a rock duo fronted by Saher Galt won this year's BlizzCon original song contest with a sweeping composition, titled The Queen of Blades, woven of dark, sinister orchestral passages and shining, anthemic choruses. A tumultuous, beautiful piece of music that struck me by its emotional power - this is about a video game? Wow. Here it is in all its glory:

I would like to kick you in The Shins

The Shins is one of those bands that's completely irresistible to the 'too cool for you' musical snob type.

But Wincing The Night Away is replete with a retro-pop sound that's inane and childish and a clean-cut, sweetsy musical aesthetic that makes this record exceedingly shallow. I'm left wondering just what it is about abusing yourself with this ultra simple, uninspired droning that gives anyone the right to turn up their nose. I'd ask, but I've already bored myself to sleep with this record.

Save yourself. Don't be brow-beaten, guilt-tripped, or bush-whacked (?) by your neighborhood d-bag into listening to Wincing The Night Away or anything, ever, by The Shins.

Dear Lady Gaga

The 1980's called and they want their pretty much everything back.

John Mayer: Battle Studies

The anemic jangling and cymbal tapping of "Half of My Heart" is certainly fit for an elevator...if only John Mayer could infuse a bit more life into the song. The processing on his vocals is so evident that he can't possibly be taken seriously as a singer. And the lyrics are absurd:

"Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring."

The realest thing? Honestly, I can't decide if this is a pop song or an insult to humanity.

I could review the rest of the album. True. Or I could do anything else, including physical violence against my person, and suffer quite a bit less.

Pointe Claire: I Asked For You...First

Pointe Claire could initially be mistaken simply for an electronica group, though a deeper listen reveals this band's more enterprising aim. Extended chord harmonies with synth washes conjure the image of a jazz lounge in the year 2050, funk slaps its way into the mix in "Full of Light" over a panoramic percussion track more characteristic of trance, virtuosic arpeggiation evoke a classical influence in "I Stand Alone," and "Sweet Takeover" intimates a subtle indie rock reference via an acoustic guitar break (without hitting you over the head with it).

As a result of the eclectic influence, fans of electronic music of all varieties (except perhaps industrial and darker, harder edged electro) will enjoy this debut album, I Asked For You...First, as a refreshing approach to a genre which can begin to sound rather ubiquitous. However, fans of some of the references made by the band, jazz, indie-rock and straight-ahead pop, may not find enough familiar territory here to be engaged.

The vocalist, Kate Zenna, is the most overt and unmistakeable reference to the electronica/lounge genre assumed by the group; while she's more than capable as a vocalist, she unfortunately sticks unwaveringly to the bright and breathy approach used by so many of her contemporaries. The sopping wet and frigid cold reverb with its unrelenting decay on the vocals certainly obscures any character in her voice, worsening the issue (or perhaps is the sole cause of it). Despite this, her melodies, pleasant and precisely intoned, make her a positive and indispensible contribution to the effort. Also, "Lay It All Down" with its "bup bup bups" might turn your literary-minded listener off, but it's worth it to stick around as often the saving grace to the somewhat unimaginative vocal tone here are the wry lyrics that regularly renew interest. Might we ask, though, on subsequent releases, to dial-back the reverb and take some chances on the vocal delivery?

All in all, the colorful range of influences, competent musicianship and top-notch production make this group easily recommendable.

Where can you find Pointe Claire? You can buy their first release on CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/cd/pointeclaire and you can add them on MySpace: www.myspace.com/pointeclaire.

Coldplay: LeftRightLeftRightLeft

Chris Martin- the strange and weaselly caricature of a singer, whose hollow crooning begs the question, "is this man's vocal mechanism simply a long cardboard tube?" and whose oft nonsensical lyrics have us wondering whether he has synesthesia or an eye condition- has released a new record. A live album, free to concert-goers.

Indeed, his ability to swindle listeners into believing in either the aptitude of his music or the sophistication of his lyrics is either a marketing feat of unparalleled success or a testament to both the prevalence and lowness of the lowest common denominator; still, the presumption that a consumer might pay real world dollars for the debauchery that is a Coldplay album in any alternate universe could only be considered a non-sequitur attempt at humor. In ours, however, consumers actually pay real world dollars, not in jest- rather in wholehearted sincerity- not only for the phsyically instantiated product of a Coldplay album but also a live re-enactment of the songs contained therein.

So that this new Coldplay album (LeftRightLeftRightLeft) be offered for free only begins to ameliorate the great transgressions against reason, and the order of the natural world, perpetrated by the very concept that anyone might exchange any quantity of wealth for a Coldplay album.

Every album bearing the inane monicker, "Coldplay," if it must occupy space in our plane of existence at all, should only be peddled in this fashion, as if by beggars on filthy street-corners, in place of shoddily beaded necklaces, foul produce or whatever other detritus might be offered in a mock attempt at commerce.

It has been said that LeftRightLeftRightLeft is a live album, that is to say, a recording of some wretched performance; this means simply that the disc contains a poorer reproduction of songs you should already hate. I haven't heard it, however, being that the atrocities committed by Chris Martin and some bullshit about the color yellow already amount to a kind of nightmarish Sesame Street episode with which I cannot contend; I need no further memories, indellible and horrible, to carry to my grave.